The Voices that Silence You – The Abduction of Creativity
These come from the dark unconscious. They arise due to the conditions of our life and childhood. The Culture, our parents, the teachers, brothers, sisters, and peer group will all have taught us wisely, or not so wisely. Unfortunately for too many, the teaching will have been downright cruel and abusive.
These negative experiences turn into negative beliefs known as complexes, whose roots live in the subterranean depths of our minds. In different ways, they tell us how awful we are, how bad at something we are, or what a dreadful person we are.
How to Silence a Woman is Clarissa Pinkola Estes’s call out. It is a perfect example of the things these complexes say inside us. This is a snapshot of her 20 pages long poem. It was written in response to the culture she saw around her. You may well recognise some of them.
Say – We are saying the same thing
Say – Do not question, have faith
Say – Do not defy my authority, especially if you want to move forward/on/pass an exam
Say – Your ideas are seductive, or dangerous
Say – It is too immature, not well thought out, disgusting
Say – You are overreacting, being too emotional
Say – You have missed the point
Say – Well really, we were talking about something else
Say – That is a wild idea, then talk about your own work
Say – No one will want that
How these words are delivered and their context, will depend upon the situation and depth of the impact they have on your particular makeup as a woman.
High emotion or intention to hurt or cause pain for example will embed these negative beliefs in our minds. When it’s done publicly as well, you can add humiliation and shame to the mix. These then become immensely powerful barriers that stop us in our tracks, or completely paralyse us, until you start to see through them. Sometimes this can take years to do.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes goes on to say:
“That the complexes result from relationships where people are in a powerless state with those who do not want to share power.”
This is a strong statement and one to hear deeply. If you have strong negative complexes or beliefs going on in you, remember that statement. It is a way to understand the situation you were in or are in. It doesn’t mean that you need to repeat it, or that you are imprisoned by it.
For example, I have had three very big impactful negative beliefs, that I no longer believe or listen to.
“There is no choice”
“You are useless”
“Why don’t you do it like … “
One step to change this is to find someone who is willing to listen without their own agenda. Where you can tell your story, and be heard because the person is interested and wants to hear. It is this genuine interest that starts to help the unwinding of our negative beliefs and thoughts.
Having been blessed with great teachers who knew the land of the unconsciousness well, unwinding from the traps I had been taught to believe were true, became a way of life and eventually an area of expertise.
Silence the voices within
You have to be prepared to break the rules that the negative complexes want you to live by. You need to be prepared to search out and become conscious of the inner terrain where they live, to release the roots of those beliefs. Then even when they turn up, you know, they are imposters and no longer have power over you.