The Voices that Silence You – The Abduction of Creativity (6)
These come from the dark unconscious. They arise due to the conditions of our life and childhood. The Culture, our parents, the teachers, brothers, sisters, and peer group will all have taught us wisely, or not so wisely. Unfortunately for too many the teaching will have been with downright cruelty and abuse.
These negative experiences turn into negative beliefs known as complexes, whose roots lives in the subterranean depths of our minds. In different ways they tell us how awful we are, or bad at something we are, or what a dreadful person we are.
How to Silence a Woman is Clarissa Pinkola Estes call out. It is a perfect example of the things these complexes say inside us. This is a snapshot of her 20 pages long poem. It was written in response to the culture she saw around her.
Say – We are saying the same thing
Say – Do not question, have faith
Say – Do not defy my authority, or if you want to pass
Say – Your ideas are seductive, or dangerous
Say – You are overreacting, being too emotional.
Say – You have missed the point
Say – Well really, we were talking something else
Say – That is a wild idea, then talk about your own work
Say – No one will want that.
We are all hit by these ongoing negative repetitive comments. How these words are delivered and the context of them, will depend upon the depth of the impact they have.
High emotion or intention to hurt or cause pain for example will embed these negative beliefs in our minds. If you add when it’s done publicly as well, you can include add humiliation and shame. These then become immensely powerful barriers that stop us in our tracks, unless you see past them, or through them. Sometimes this can take years to do.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes goes on to say – that the complexes result from relationships where people are in a powerless state with those who do not want to share power.
This is a strong statement and one to hear deeply. If you have strong negative complexes or beliefs going on in you, remember that statement. It is a way to understand the situation you were in. It doesn’t mean that you need to repeat it, or that you are imprisoned by it.
What happens is that we believe it. For example, I have had three very big impactful negative beliefs.
“There is no choice”
“You are useless”
“Why don’t you do it like … “
One step to change this, is to find someone who is willing to listen without their own agenda. Where you can tell your story, and be heard, because the person is interested and listens. It is this genuine interested to hear that helps the unwinding of our negative beliefs and thoughts.
The tools I have used over the years to free myself from these and other deep impactful beliefs are:
Byron Katie – The Work
Training as a massage therapist
Meditation and Enquiry
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (whom I have studied for 15 years)
Having been blessed with great teachers who knew the land of the unconsciousness well. They were able to help me see that could unwind from the trap I had been taught to believe were true and simply weren’t.
Silence the voices within
You have to be prepared to break the rules the rules that the negative complexes want you to live by. You need to be prepared to search and go over old ground to release the roots of those beliefs. Then even when they turn up, you know, they are imposters and no longer have power over you.